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Koko's Mourning for Michael
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(August 2, 2000) -- Koko has been extremely upset by Michael's death. She spent 24 years with Mike, and he was her companion since she was five years old. In the weeks following Mike's death, both Koko and Ndume uttered frequent, mournful cries, particularly at night. Gorillas often vocalize this type of cry when they are unwillingly separated from each other. During this time period, Koko indicated with sign language that she wanted a light left on at night when she went to bed. Both Koko and Ndume often stared into the distance without focusing, apparently seeing nothing. For months following Mike's death, Koko would sit with her chin on her chest and her lower lip dropped down, a recognizably sad expression.
Both Koko and Ndume were reluctant to spend time alone after Mike's death, so their caregivers stayed with them much more than usual. Koko uttered her sad cries nightly for long periods after bedtime. She was rarely happy and uncharacteristically didn't "purr" when she was given food or was in the presence of someone with whom she had bonded strongly, such as Dr. Penny Patterson, Dr. Ron Cohn or one of her favorite caregivers. In this, the last week of July, Koko's mood has begun to lift a little, though she is still not back to her old self.
Asking for Mike
In the evening of the day Mike died, Koko searched through his rooms looking for him, and she signed to Ron, "Sip Mike Mike Lip, " signing the gesture for "Mike" once with each hand. When Ron said "Mike is gone," Koko returned to her own room and started once again to utter plaintive cries. The following morning, when Ron asked Koko what she wanted, Koko replied," Sip Mike Lip." In late July, she signed once again, "Sip Mike Lip." Koko does not make random signs, and by signing this on three separate occasions, she is trying to tell us something. Dr. Patterson believes that Koko may be commenting on the CPR she saw performed on Mike in an attempt to revive him.
The next day, Penny and Ron sat with Koko. Penny cried as she tried to explain what had happened. Koko signed to her, "Cry no." Penny interpreted this as Koko attempting to console her. Penny opened both of Mike's rooms, and Koko quickly went in. She looked through his blankets and tubs and then peered through the window to the yard, as if hoping to find him there. She spent several long moments in silence as she sat among Mike's things.
Depth of Grief
Many people know how upset Koko was over the loss of her kitten, All Ball. To describe her sorrow, she would often use the signs for "sad" and "frown." Her grief for Mike is much deeper, and she sometimes seems inconsolable. Following Mike's death, Koko has expressed her grief with the words "sorry" and "cry." For example, she held up one of Mike's blankets, looked at Penny and signed "Sorry." Three weeks after Mike's death, Penny's sister visited Koko. When she asked Koko how she was feeling, Koko replied "Cry."
In one conversation Penny had with Koko soon after Mike's death, Penny called Koko an "angel" as she sat near Koko who was in her room at bedtime. (Koko and Mike shared the same structure but had separate rooms.) Penny continued, "Angel in blue room (Koko's room), and "Angel in this room" (indicating Mike's room). Koko signed, "Imagine."
Koko continues to spend time in Mike's rooms. We have saved his blankets, which she frequently picks up and smells. While in his room one evening, she gathered up all her blankets and all of Mike's and made one big nest out of them. When it was time for bed, she did not want to leave his rooms. A few days later, after nesting in Mike's room, Koko took all the blankets to her own room to sleep.
Koko Coping
Penny, Ron and Koko's caregivers have increased the amount of time they spend with Koko. They try to create enjoyable distractions; one opportunity was her birthday on July 4. Birthdays always mean festive celebrations for the gorillas. On each gorilla's birthday, they all enjoy special food and gifts, as well as specially planned activities. This gives them an enjoyable break in their routines, the same as celebrations do for us. Normally caregivers can't even say the word "birthday" without Koko becoming quite excited.
This year, though Koko chose her birthday menu and enjoyed her feast and gifts, she was much more subdued than she normally is. She didn't run about excitedly or spin on her heel or wrist or elbow. (Gorillas can almost look like they are break dancing when they are really happy and excited.) Neither did she "purr" in happiness. Her appetite was not as good it usually is on her birthday, when she is showered with her favorite foods. She is, however, eating adequately.
New Relationship to Ndume
Slowly, though, Koko's mood appears to be lifting as she adjusts to life without Mike. Her relationship with Ndume is changing, as he begins to assume the role of the silverback alpha male. Interestingly, as Ndume takes on more of Mike's behaviors, Koko has taken on some of Ndume's, perhaps an outward sign of identifying with Ndume more than she has in the past. These behaviors include running while chest slapping and clapping (a behavior typical of Ndume, but never before displayed by Koko). She has also taken to throwing things, also an Ndume trait.
Koko is now willing to be in closer proximity to Ndume than she ever was before. In fact, she engineers these closer interactions, going into a smaller yard to encourage him to come in and interact. When caregivers interact with Ndume, she interferes with the interaction much more than before, signing Ndume's name and seeking to focus his attention on her rather than the caregiver. Koko and Ndume have been seen running by each other in the yard, back and forth, getting closer each time and exchanging what can only be described as a "high-five." Koko now approaches Ndume much closer than before while he is nesting; he does not get up and move as he would have in the past. The Gorilla Foundation caregivers are encouraging this new closeness and hope it might eventually lead to mating behavior.
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